


dog petting heist

by robnauts



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: 3/4 comedy 1/4 than's Feelings, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Pining, Pre-Relationship, background implied zagmeg, hades runs an antique store
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:00:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27356893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robnauts/pseuds/robnauts
Summary: “You’re going to think it’s silly.”“Answer the question, Zagreus.”“... I want to go say hi to Cerberus.”-Thanatos gets a call from a tipsy Zagreus in the middle of the night, requesting his assistance with a very important secret mission.
Relationships: Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 75
Kudos: 1045





	dog petting heist

Thanatos has finally managed to get himself into a doze when his phone vibrates on the nightstand.

He just lays there for half a moment, glaring balefully up at the ceiling, letting the irritation of a phone call get added to the pre-existing frustration of insomnia.

He prays it’s a spam call so he can just decline it and roll over. If it’s his boss, he’ll… he’ll say something polite, and try not to be as rude as he naturally would be, and if it’s a job he’ll get up and get dressed and go drive to whatever dead person’s house he’s told to go to and not complain to anyone but the inside of his head because it wouldn’t do anything useful. If it’s his mother, he’ll just walk down the hall and be told something poignant. Or be sent to go buy almond milk or something. If it’s Hypnos, he’s not answering.

He gives himself another second of grimacing, and then picks up his phone.

Oh. It’s Zagreus.

Despite himself, half his annoyance lifts. Not all of it, because it’s a phone call _and_ nearly one in the morning, but more than for any other person. Even after they came back into contact, Zag doesn’t often ask him for help, not wanting to cause him complications at his job. Zagreus is not naturally conscientious, but he is constantly deliberately conscientious. Thanatos, as someone to whom politeness, social know-how, and emotional intelligence do not come instinctively, understands and appreciates this about him. Among many, many other things.

He taps the button to accept the call. “What.”

“Hello, Thanatos!” Zag’s voice rings out jubilantly. “Dear Thanatos. The sweetest Thanatos I know!”

“I’m the only Thanatos you know. What is it.”

“Oh, take the compliment, Than! You never take my compliments, I wish you would, I give them to you and I want you to have them.”

… wait a second. “Zagreus. Are you drunk.”

A loud _pfffffffbpht_ crackles out from the speaker. “I wouldn’t say _drunk,_ but yeah, you caught me! I’m not sober. Tipsy, I’d say. Definitely tipsy.”

Thanatos doesn’t even try to restrain his sigh. “Good night, Zagreus. Drink some water before you sleep.”

“Than, Than! Than wait, I promise I called for a reason!” Zagreus yelps. Thanatos rolls his eyes, but still puts his phone back up to his ear. “Listen, Than, I need your help.”

“What do you need my help with.”

“I need you to drive me somewhere.”

“Aren’t you at your cousin’s house? Can’t he just drive you?”

“Uh… I don’t think he should,” Zagreus chuckles. “I’m at Dionysus’ tonight. I’m probably the least smashed person here.”

Thanatos sighs. He is someone who frequently sighs at the irritations and inanities and difficulties of the world around him, and this extensive experience gives him the ability to tell that he will probably sigh at least ten more times before he is finally able to sleep. “He’s having a party? When you’re staying as his guest?”

“He said it was a party _because_ I’m his guest, so it’s a compliment! Mostly I just think he wanted to have a party. He’s a nice guy, and I like a good party! So I’m taking the compliment, like you never do.”

Thanatos doesn’t want to deal with that conversation thread anymore. “Where do you need to be driven to.”

“Oh! Yeah. My dad’s house.”

“... your dad’s house.”

“Yep!”

“... Zagreus, you have been couchsurfing for _three months_ because you don’t want to be in your dad’s house anymore.”

“I’m not going _inside,”_ Zagreus says indignantly.

“I am not aiding and abetting you in egging your dad’s car.”

“Oh, I should do that! But I wouldn’t make you help me do something like that, Than, I don’t want to get you in trouble at work,” Zagreus says. “Absolutely wouldn’t ever. This isn’t to get back at my dad. This is just for me. And maybe you too, if you want!”

“Good to know. You still haven’t told me what it is you want to do.”

There’s a pause. Thanatos can hear the thudding of bass music, probably in another room, in the background of the call. “... you’re going to think it’s silly.”

“Answer the question, Zagreus.”

“... I want to go say hi to Cerberus.”

“I _do_ think that’s silly.”

“Than! It’s just that I haven’t seen them in so long, and I really miss them, and somebody brought their dog to the party and I hung out with it for a while and it was nice to pet it, it was the sweetest little dog, I held it in my arms like a baby, but all I could think of was how lonely they probably are without me - my dad doesn’t _ever_ pet them - and how much I miss them, and how much they probably miss me, and they’re getting so old now, and if they get sick then my dad probably won’t tell me, and I just - please, Than, I really want to see them.”

“I didn’t say no.” He swings his legs out of bed. He can wear his sweatpants and his old worn out high school track & field shirt out, that’s acceptable middle of the night clothing if he throws a jacket over it. “Text me Dionysus’ address.”

“Really? _Thank_ you, Than, thank you so much! I really appreciate it. You’re so sweet, you know that? People don’t think you are, but you are. I know it.”

Thanatos is trying to put socks on while holding his phone between his ear and shoulder. He doesn’t have the wherewithal to deal with Zagreus pouring compliments on him again. “Zagreus. The address.”

“But if I have to text you the address, then I have to get off the phone, and I’ll have to stop talking to you.”

Thanatos doesn’t know what to say to that. “I don’t know what to say to that. I’ll have to get off the phone anyway when I’m driving. And I don’t want to wake up my Mother.”

“Oh! You’re right, we shouldn’t wake up Nyx. Okay, I’ll hang up and text you. See you soon, Thanatos. Thanks again, I really appreciate it.”

“See you.” He ends the call. Takes a moment to drag a hand down his face. Inhales a deep, slow breath, then exhales. Tries to will the prickly warmth from his cheeks.

He accepted fifteen years ago that Zagreus is the only person that can evoke such emotion in him, that can spur him to act like this. It still doesn’t make it any easier to confront or categorize.

As he pulls his jacket off the hook on his door, his phone buzzes once in his pocket. He pulls it out - there’s the address, as promised. At least Zagreus’s inebriated brain didn’t immediately forget. He puts it into Google Maps.

It’s ten minutes up the freeway, down some twisting surface streets in the middle of the downtown arts district. He hopes there’s parking. There probably isn’t.

He walks quietly down the hallway, past his Mother’s closed door. Despite what he told Zagreus, he has no idea if his Mother is awake or not. She keeps her own hours, but always seems to be awake at the most opportune times to make ambiguously supportive comments on his life. 

Thanatos makes it down the hallway, steps over the creaky stair, doesn’t bump his shin on the stupid boxes that contain the stupid cat tower Hypnos was supposed to take down to his room two weeks ago (he doesn’t _have_ a cat, why did he even _order_ it), and as he’s pulling on his shoes in the entryway his keys slip out of his pocket and fall with a jangling clatter on the tile.

His hissed _dammit_ is drowned out by a loud _eep!_ from the couch, and then the rustling of blankets and food wrappers.

Apparently having emerged from the basement, Hypnos’ curly head of hair pops up out of a nest of pillows. Thanatos continues tying his shoes. “Than! You’re going out? Where to?”

Thanatos grunts. Answering Hypnos’ questions is too much effort right now.

Hypnos is, as ever, undeterred. “Are you gonna go to the grocery store? Can you pick me up some Funyuns?”

“I’m not going to the grocery store. Get your own.”

“Are you gonna go hang out with your boyfriend?”

Thanatos keeps his eyes fixed on his shoes. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Okay, sure, _fine,_ are you gonna go hang out with _Zagreus?”_

“Why do you care about where I’m going.”

“Can you tell him I need the twenty bucks he owes me? Soon? Because I’m almost out of edibles.”

“Maybe if you did actual _work_ at your _job,_ Mr. Hades would give you a raise.”

“Okay, sure, maybe, but I need the twenty bucks _now.”_

“Tell him yourself.” The shoes are finally secured on his feet. He grabs the keys, stands, throws on his coat, and gets out of the house, firmly closing the door on Hypnos bleating about how Zagreus doesn’t answer his texts.

But he doesn’t slam the door, because he doesn’t want to disturb his Mother.

-

It’s extremely obvious which house is Dionysus’: the house is lit up with colored lights, house music pulses deafeningly, and there is a small crowd of semi-nude people playing Twister on the front lawn.

Parking is exactly as horrendous as he knew it would be. He eventually just blocks the two cars and moped that are in the driveway, shifts into neutral, and honks his horn to let Zagreus know he’s here. This causes half the Twisterers to flip him off, and the other half to cheer.

Thanatos waits there for around a minute before Zagreus emerges from the purple-painted front door. He weaves through the throng of people between the house and the street, accepting high fives, slaps on the back, hugs, and one lingering kiss on the cheek. Thanatos tries very hard not to clench his hands around the steering wheel.

Zagreus is the type of person that 99% of people instantly adore in one way or another. Thanatos just secured his place very early.

Finally, Zagreus reaches the curb, and Thanatos is pretty sure that it’s just wishful thinking that’s making him think Zagreus’s smile has brightened upon seeing him.

No, wait, it’s because Zag is inebriated. That’s it. That’s what makes sense.

He rolls down the window just enough for Zagreus to hear his greeting. “Welcome to the black parade, Zag.”

“You know, most people say ‘hello’ or ‘hi’ instead of dramatic, out-of-place goth phrases whenever they appear,” Zagreus comments, tugging at the handle until Thanatos unlocks it. He opens the door, leaning in to fling his increasingly beat-up duffel into the backseat, and then tucks himself into the passenger side, setting his even more beat-up backpack on his lap.

“If you’d rather I just glare at you derisively, you could have just called Meg for the same effect.”

“Last time I called her past eleven she threatened to steal all my stuff and throw it in the river,” Zagreus says absently. “She takes her sleeping schedule _very_ seriously, says that if she can’t jog at peak performance at 5:30 every morning then she’s going to blame me for it, and I think she also threatened to take me along with her? Which, I think it’s great that she’s healthy and all, but ‘Thena makes me do that when I stay at her place and I _really_ would rather not do that more than I have to, y’know?”

“Put your seatbelt on, Zagreus.”

“Safety first!” Zagreus agrees pleasantly, waving his hand by his shoulder until it finds the seatbelt.

Right as the buckle clicks in, the front door of the house slams open and a half-naked eyesore of purple hair and what looks to be a cheetah-patterned hand towel comes sauntering out towards the car. Thanatos tries to shift the car into drive, but Zag is already waving at him and punching at the window button to bring it all the way down.

“Dionysus!” he cheers as the cousin himself reaches the car, leaning against it on an arm. “What’s up, mate?”

 _Oh, so referencing a critically-acclaimed album I like is ‘out-of-place,’ but talking like a fucking pirate is perfectly fine,_ Thanatos thinks about muttering, but decides against it. He knows it’s just the proximity to someone he doesn’t know very well that’s making him uncomfortable.

Speaking of: “Hey, Zag, man! Listen, before you take off, just wanted you to know that I’ve had a _lovely_ time having you over, just _lovely._ You’re a real peach, you know that? _Way_ better than some roommates I’ve had, let me tell you! You are welcome here _anytime,_ and I mean _any_ time! Next time, let me tell you, I’ll break out the _best_ of the devil’s lettuce, and I’ve got this _hilarious_ bong shaped like a--”

“My car is going to run out of battery if I keep idling,” Thanatos interrupts. “Is there a reason for this.”

Dionysus peers inside the dark of the car. “Oh! It’s that Theodore guy, I know you! Zag talks about you _all_ the time.”

“Not - not _all_ the time,” Zagreus protests, waving a hand around.

Dionysus nods in a way that seems exaggerated, but Thanatos can’t tell if it’s intentional, drunkenness, or just how Dionysus is as an individual. “Right, sometimes you talk about that Megan girl instead. Listen, Zag, my point is, I _never_ let a guest leave without something to remember me by, you hear? I was gonna give you the rest of those Blueberry Crisp Clif Bars you like so much, but my buddy Ari - you met her, sweet girl - got the munchies and got into them and, _well,_ they’ve been absolutely torn to bits! So I figured I’d give you…” he spins his arm around wildly, and produces a bottle from… somewhere. Thanatos doesn’t think he’s wearing an article of clothing that has pockets. “A bottle of wine for the road!” He squints at the label. “Or, well, margarita mix. But hey! Still a divine liquid, am I right or am I _right,_ Zag?”

He isn’t right. “You’re right,” Zagreus says easily, accepting the neon yellow bottle. “Thanks a _ton,_ Dionysus, I mean it. I had a wonderful time.”

“That’s because _you’re_ wonderful. And because I’m wonderful too. But hey! I won’t keep two thirds of this sexy little polycule waiting when they’ve obviously got other places to be.”

Thanatos squints. “What is a ‘polycule.’”

“You don’t know? _Well--”_

 _“Ah,_ don’t worry about it Than, just a reference to, uh, I think a TV show or something like that,” Zagreus erupts like a flood, hands waving around. “My cousin is a little drunk. So drunk! Enjoying the party a little _too_ much - because it’s _such_ a great party, maybe he should go back inside the party…?”

For a moment, Thanatos thinks that Dionysus is going to perform one of the legendary mood swings Zagreus’ paternal cousins are famous for, his brows drawing together and his lips starting to twist. But, after a few held-breath seconds, Dionysus’ face melts into a sly grin - it seems the interruption was not enough to, as the man himself would probably say, ‘harsh his buzz.’

“I see ya, Zag, I see ya,” he purrs, reaching in and clapping Zagreus on the shoulder. “No party fouls from me, dude, I’ll let you get on with your _midnight adventures,_ hm?” His eyebrows wriggle and dance like snakes on ecstasy.

“Right,” Zagreus laughs weakly. “You too, mate.”

Dionysus gives him a lazy salute, a very deliberate wink, and then dissolves into the crowd of writhing limbs that is the front lawn Twister game.

They sit there for a moment. Thanatos considers whether to look up what that word Dionysus said means, or to put it out of his mind entirely. He chooses the latter. He knows what a can of worms looks like, and his life is enough of a compost heap already.

Zagreus breaks the silence. “Sorry about that! I know he can be a bit… much, for you.” His hands are twisting around each other anxiously.

Thanatos is used to people being uneasy around him. He finds he hates to see it in Zagreus. “Your cousin is… a party person,” he says, attempting tact.

“Which is not your type of person,” Zagreus finishes graciously.

“Yes.” Then he adds, “But he still seems… nice.”

“‘Nice!’ High praise from you, Than. Why don’t _you_ ever call me nice?”

Thanatos tries not to splutter, but he’s pretty sure he fails. “I - I may not use that exact word, but I’m certain I’ve complimented you before--”

Zagreus just laughs his flailing off. “I’m only teasing, Than. Don't worry about it. Oh, I just noticed! You’re wearing your old track shirt! I didn’t know you still had _anything_ from high school!” He leans over and pats him on the chest where the logo is. Thanatos watches his hand the entire time. The two pats thud through him. “I remember when we used to go jogging together, after school. You were so fast! The best sprinter in the region, it was almost like you teleported. You should’ve joined the soccer team with Meg, you two would’ve crushed it.”

Thanatos smiles wryly. “But the teamwork, Zag.”

“Ah, yes, _teamwork,_ your greatest enemy.” Zagreus nods sagely. Then he frowns, and suddenly he’s… he’s stroking Thanatos’ hair.

Thanatos knocks his arm away. _“What_ are you doing.”

Zagreus’ brow furrows. “Your hair’s all wet.”

Too much has happened in the last three minutes. Thanatos switches into drive and starts navigating away from the bass music and the Twisterers and Dionysus’ wiggling eyebrows and the person who kissed Zagreus on the cheek. “Yes, well. I had just showered before I got out of bed to come pick you up.”

Zag’s lips twist into a scolding pout, and he flings out a pointing finger. _“Than._ You aren’t supposed to sleep with wet hair. It’s bad for you.”

“I’m not going to get sick, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“No, I mean - Aphrodite told me, she told me last week - two weeks ago - a while back, after I took a shower before bed, and she gave me a hair dryer _because_ sleeping with wet hair causes it to _break._ It’s hair health.”

“That would be good advice for someone who does more to their hair than cutting it with kitchen scissors every two months.”

“So _that’s_ why your bangs are so choppy,” Zag hums. “Aphrodite saw you on my Insta story and wanted me to give you her card, by the way, she said she’ll give you a discount if you let her film you.”

“My hair is _fine._ I don’t need an Instagram beauty guru messing with it,” Thanatos snaps. Then, remembering Zagreus’ chronic loose tongue, he adds, “Don’t tell her I said that.”

“I won’t, don’t worry,” Zag hums, bumping his head against Thanatos’ bicep. “She’d get mad at you and I don’t want anyone to be mad at you. Also she’d probably get mad at me and not let me sleep at her place for a while, and I like her place because she bought this fancy tea tree shampoo for me to use, and it makes my hair so soft. If you’ve noticed my hair is softer then that means I was probably just at ‘Dite’s place.”

Thanatos spends a non-zero amount of time thinking about how soft Zag’s hair looks. He spends an equal amount of time trying to figure out what to do with that. “Drink some more water.”

Zagreus hums again, uncapping the hydroflask. “I’m not even sure _how_ she’s related to me, she’s just ‘in the family.’ I think she’s married to one of my cousins? But she lives by herself. I think it’s one of those ‘we don’t talk about that’ zones I keep learning of, so I don’t want to ask about it.”

“Probably for the best.”

“Hey, thanks for picking me up, Than, I really appreciate it,” Zagreus swerves. “I appreciate everything you do for me! You don’t have to buy me dinner all the time, you know.”

That brushes extremely close to the surface of feelings and motivations Thanatos would rather Zagreus not know the full extent of, as he himself doesn’t know yet. “I have enough disposable income to make sure you eat something healthier than cup ramen once in a while.”

“I’ll have you know that the sum of all my relatives’ fridges is a very balanced diet! Ares only has protein shakes and red meat - that’s a chunk of the food pyramid by itself. Hey, what did you have for dinner, Than?”

“Uh.” He’s still trying to process everything Zagreus has said over the past five minute while also practicing defensive driving. “I think I had… lasagna.”

Zagreus nods his head sagely. “Just like Garfield.”

“Like… Garfield.”

“Yeah, he’s big into lasagna. Oh! I should give you something. As thanks for you driving me to see Cerberus.”

“Zagreus, you don’t have to give me anything--” But Zagreus has already dropped the fucking bottle of margarita mix right in his lap. Thanatos lets out an _oof_ and the car swerves slightly. Luckily, the streets are pretty empty at this hour, and even more luckily the bottle very narrowly avoids hitting some parts of his body that would have caused him to drive the car off the road.

“Oops! Sorry, Than,” Zagreus says, looking rightfully sheepish.

“I don’t want this, get it off me,” Thanatos snaps, righting the car. “I’m _driving.”_

“Yeah, yeah, sorry! Should’ve thought before I did that, typical me.” He reaches over and grabs the bottle from Thanatos’ lap. Thanatos is driving, so this doesn’t affect him, and he does not especially notice Zagreus’ hand near his lap. “I’ll just put this in the backseat for you.”

“I don’t want it.”

“But besides that! I just remembered, I actually _do_ have something else for you,” Zagreus says brightly, unzipping one of the pouches on his backpack and rooting around. “Remember the other weekend when I went out to my uncle’s beach house because my father was looking for me?”

“Yes.” Zagreus doesn’t know this, but he’d been bought an extra half hour by Thanatos deliberately causing a client to want to speak to his boss. Megaera had definitely known he was providing bad customer service on purpose (rather than just naturally), but she had still escorted the man to the back office rather than settling it herself, even though as general manager she’s technically his boss when he’s in the store. Neither of them said anything about it to each other, or anything at all; neither of them are much for small talk, especially when the dulcet tones of someone yelling at their incensed boss are echoing throughout the building.

He’s not planning on buying her flowers, but he has mentally given her his own Employee Of The Month award to go along with her real one.

“So on Saturday afternoon, Poseidon invited a bunch of his fishing buddies over to smoke the fish they had caught in the morning, but they decided to do it _inside his house._ Let me tell you, the air quality _drastically_ went down, so I went out to all the little tourist shops nearby, and in one of them I saw _this_ and thought of you!” And from out of Zagreus’ backpack comes a keychain depicting a small rat in a neon tropical shirt on a surfboard with a speech bubble reading ‘HANG CHEESE!’ floating next to its head.

“Good god, what in the hell is that.”

“It’s a beach rat!” Zagreus says brightly, jingling the keychain. The rat bobs up and down erratically in his peripheral vision. “You were so into rats when we were younger, it was so cute.” Thanatos ignores that for his own mental health. “I remember you always brought that one stuffed animal to sleepovers - you called it Mort, right? It sucks that you couldn’t get a real one as a pet because Hypnos is so scared of them. Hey, is that why you don’t get along with him?”

“I don’t get along with Hypnos because he makes the entire house stink of weed.” He takes the keychain and tucks it into his jacket pocket, then puts both hands back on the wheel. “Thank you for the gift, Zagreus. I’ll put it on my keys when I’m no longer driving.”

“Oh!” Zagreus says. He sounds pleased. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, you know.”

“It’s an ugly little thing, but it is very distinct.” _It’s a gift from you,_ he doesn’t say. Zagreus doesn’t need to know that.

“I’m sort of realizing that it’s perfectly possible you might not still like rats.” When Thanatos glances over, he’s fiddling with his backpack. “Sorry if that was… you know, thoughtless of me. It’d be like you giving me a T-rex magnet because I liked them when I was seven. Really, if you don’t want it--”

“Zag. I like it. I like rats. Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay. Good. Good.” There’s rustling as he sets his backpack down at his feet. “I’m glad you still like rats. I missed you while I was at that school, you know?”

“I… missed you as well. It wasn’t the same around here without you,” Thanatos says carefully. “And I’m glad you’re doing something that you love.”

“Mm.” He glances over. Zagreus is resting his head against the window. “Thanks for not telling me I’m an idiot to want to major in dance with my heart condition. I know you’re thinking it, but thanks for not saying it.”

Thanatos takes a deep breath. Lets it out. “I don’t think you’re an idiot. I worry about you. All the time. But this was your choice, and your reasons are important to you.”

“Thank you for understanding. I mean it. My father… I know that part of it is that he’s worried about me and wants me to be safe. But not telling me I have a congenital heart condition until I had a stress event from that damn school!”

Thanatos’ hands clench on the wheel. He takes a shaky breath.

Zagreus doesn’t notice, continuing his rant. “And then kicking me out after I refused to get a stupid business degree to come work for him, and hiding the fact that my mother never died, they just had a divorce and he told her I’d _died!_ All that on top of the way he’s always treated me. I just couldn’t stay there any longer. If I’ve got a higher chance of dying young than everyone else, why not actually _live_ my life doing something I love instead of just being secure and miserable, you know?”

Thanatos’ whole body goes stiff and cold when Zagreus mentions his risk. It isn’t something he can bear to think about. Even when they were apart, he always had the knowledge that Zagreus was somewhere out there, being himself. That was enough for him. He was alone in college, graduating a year early, taking a job buying antiques for the business his mother co-owned to pay off his student loans. He is not a person who needs a lot. He simply continues forward. But in the back of mind, there was always Zagreus’ bright, steady presence in the world, and that was good.

And then, four months ago, he’d been out of state at an auction for his boss, and his mother had called him. And she’d told him that Zagreus had gone into cardiac arrest, and they weren’t sure if he’d make it. And Thanatos had promptly had a panic attack in the bathroom.

He’d never had a panic attack before. It had not been fun.

By the time he’d gotten back, Zagreus had woken up and had already had an extremely loud argument with his father over his future - apparently they’d been reprimanded by the hospital staff for it. He was told all this by Megaera in the lobby, as he’d arrived mere minutes too late for visiting hours. He’d also been told he looked like shit. ‘More like shit than usual,’ in her words.

He’d never realized how much his worldview relied on the security of Zagreus existing until he’d almost lost him. He’s realized a lot of things in the last four months. He has a sneaking suspicion he will realize a lot more in the near future.

Zagreus is still talking, as he is thankfully unable to hear Thanatos’ sentimental internal monologues. “At least I’m getting to hang out with my mother. You should come with me to the farmer’s market to see her! That is, if my father ever gives you a damn day off. He overworks you, I swear.”

“You’re probably right.” Thanatos never really noticed until Zagreus came back and he started wanting some time available for his personal life. Unfortunately, ‘let me hang out with your estranged son’ is not something he can ask time off for, and Mr. Hades is too cheap to hire another buyer for the store. “Estate sales are usually held on weekends, but if I ever have a Saturday off I’ll see if I can tag along with you.”

“Oh! That’s great!” Zagreus says. Thanatos glances over; the glumness from just before is gone, and a bright smile has replaced it. Good. Zagreus has always worn smiles well, and very little makes him smile like talking about his mother. “Than, did you know, she has dyslexia too! It was really good to talk about it with someone who isn’t also trying to make me better at school. My father never really got it at all, just wanted me to magically ‘apply myself.’ But my mother… she gets it. It’s nice.”

“I can imagine.” Thanatos has his own diagnoses. His Mother is the only one who knows all the specifics, and he prefers it that way. 

“But! Even if you can’t manage to get a free Saturday, she’s gonna try and make it to my finals performance, and I am cashing in my tickets to demand that you come to it too!”

“Tickets? What?”

“You know, like Chuck E Cheese.”

_“What?”_

“You know, how you get tickets for winning the arcade games and then at the end you turn them in for prizes at the counter!” Zagreus explains, hands gesturing wildly to illustrate his point. “I _know_ you’ve done this, I definitely had a birthday party there once when we were kids.”

“Oh. That place. I mostly remember you getting into a fight in the ball pit.”

“The little bastard was _demented,_ who starts throwing shit just because someone else talked to your best friend? I never acted like that about _you._ At least we got him kicked out. Wasn’t that also the time we accidentally left Hypnos behind because he fell asleep in those playplace tunnels?”

“No, that was his sixth birthday party at that one very elaborate McDonald’s.”

“The one that’s like two stories tall! Yeah, that McDonald’s. I think that was the one time your mom ever let you two go to any fast food place.”

“She has always been very conscious of our health.”

“Bet she’s not too enthused about Hypnos’ current diet,” Zagreus snorts.

“When we turned eighteen, she let us make our own decisions. Hypnos simply makes disgusting ones.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Zag says. “Did you know, he’s trying to say I owe him money because I accidentally ate one of his weed gummies?”

“You did _what.”_

“It happened while you were out of town a while back, don’t worry about it,” Zagreus flaps a hand. “He was all ‘hey, Zag, do you want some jelly beans’ and I said ‘sure buddy’ and how was I supposed to know he had them mixed in!”

“I am going to set his basement on fire with him inside.”

Zagreus laughs heartily. Thanatos mentally reclassifies what he said as ‘a joke.’

They turn through a couple more residential streets. Mr. Hades lives in a middle-class neighborhood with houses of varying shades of beige. Thanatos isn’t sure if it’s because the homeowner’s association has an iron grip on paint choices or if the people are simply boring. It’s looked exactly the same for as long as he can remember.

He parks in front of a house he remembers climbing onto the roof of in order to retrieve a toy Zagreus had accidentally thrown up there. He had been seven or eight. He had gotten stuck. The neighbor had not been pleased, nor had Mr. Hades when Zagreus had come running for a rescue. Fortunately, his Mother had arrived to pick him up soon after, and Mr. Hades had had to quell his anger.

“Why are you parking all the way down here?” Zagreus says to him, confused. “The house is on the other side of the block, remember?”

“Of course I remember, I’ve been there more frequently than _you_ have for the last four years,” Thanatos replies. “And it’s because I’d rather your father not realize that the car that the intruders lept into before speeding away from his house is the same one his employee parks outside his store.”

“You don’t have to come with me if you don’t feel comfortable, you know,” Zagreus says. “I’m fine if you just wait in the car.”

“I’d rather see some dogs than just sit here,” Thanatos says, unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out.

“The siren call of seeing the best boys in the world,” Zagreus nods. They start walking down the street. “Even you can’t resist.”

“I’m famously not immune,” Thanatos says, feeling quite daring.

“To what? To the dogs?” Zagreus looks very confused. “You never liked the dogs that much, unless something’s drastically changed and you haven’t told me.”

Thanatos weighs how daring he actually feels over a dumb joke about liking boys, and decides that he’s already pushing his luck with helping his… his _friend_ sneak into his temperamental boss’ backyard. “You know what, never mind.”

Zagreus glances at him. “You sure?”

“Yes.”

“If you’re sure,” Zagreus shrugs. “But if you want any recommendations on the best spots to scratch, let me know.”

Thanatos stares at him from the corner of his eye, trying to tell how much of Zagreus’ shrugging-off is blithe ignorance and how much is deliberate space-giving. He can’t tell, but Zagreus is mostly focused on getting to those dogs right now.

Wait. Shit.

Does Zagreus know he’s gay?

Zagreus walks next to him, talking about something that happened in one of his classes recently, while Thanatos’ brain whirs and wheezes as he feverishly weighs whether he should come out to Zagreus right now. Because - well, he just thought Zagreus knew. He has to know, right? Normal people have gaydars, right? Thanatos’s is terrible due to just being terrible with people in general (he only knows Zag is bi because he told him in high school), but Zagreus is better with people than he is, so Zagreus probably knows because of gaydar, or whatever. It would be weird to just blurt it out now, and Zagreus would be suspicious of why he felt the need to tell him.

But what if he doesn’t? What if Thanatos is too good at keeping his private thoughts under wraps? He never dated anyone in high school and he never told anybody about the handful of terrible dates he went on in college. And he’s always been a bit of an accidental starer, everyone who knows him knows that, so Zagreus probably never thought twice if he caught Thanatos’ gaze lingering on his arms, or eyes, or hands, or mouth, or thighs, or - or _other body parts._

And if he doesn’t know that Thanatos is gay, then he can never view him as a possible interest. But if he doesn’t know that Thanatos is gay, then there’s less of a chance of him finding out about Thanatos’ carefully-concealed depth of feeling towards him. But if he never finds that out, then there’s no way they can ever - 

Fuck it. It’s 1:30 A.M. and he’s doing something that feels reckless and very young-adult-y. He can just explain the joke and drop in that he’s gay, very casually and naturally. And because it’s part of explaining the joke, it will just seem incidental to the main point of why Thanatos is speaking, and Zagreus won’t think too much about it if he already knows, and if he doesn’t know then it will be a nice casual way to alert Zagreus to the fact that he likes men, and maybe Zagreus can realize that he himself is a man, and thus someone Thanatos can conceivably be attracted to, opening that window of possibility if it needed to be opened.

He takes a deep breath. He can do this. He has a plan, and it’s good, and now he just has to explain the joke to Zagreus. And Zagreus will for sure know that he, Thanatos, is gay.

“Actually, I was referring to--”

“We’re here!” Zagreus says, darting up to the six foot brick wall that fences in Mr. Hades’ backyard. “He probably hasn’t changed much since I moved out besides cleaning out my room, so all we really have to worry about in terms of security is the sensor light, since we’re not trying to sneak inside. Just stay out of the main patio area so you don’t set that off and we’re golden.”

… okay. Sure. Fine. Whatever. “Stay off the patio. Got it.”

Zagreus jumps high enough to swing his arms over the wall, and swings his knee up. “I’m old hat at this,” he grunts. “Used to sneak out all the time when I was a teenager.”

Thanatos is caught between the reminder that Zagreus was sneaking out to see Megaera back then (and, hm, he could probably autopsy some memories from back then to discover some very repressed jealousy, but that was a very teenage feeling), and the fact that Zagreus’ _other body part_ is waving around at his eye level.

Everything is happening so much tonight.

“C’mon, you slowpoke!” Zag says. He has finally managed to seat himself on the top of the wall. “Do you need a hand?”

“No, I’ve got it,” Thanatos says, and starts hoisting himself up.

Zagreus stays perched at the top, waiting for Thanatos to join him, before he hops down to the grass on the other side.

The backyard is sparse as it has always been. Most of the lawn is taken up with large planters - he remembers Zagreus running around in the dry dirt, pretending to be a Jedi on some desert planet. There’s a very beige patio set that Thanatos can’t recall ever being used for its purpose - all of the dinner parties Thanatos was made to attend were held in the very ornate dining room. By the patio door, there’s an empty pot covered in flaking paint that’s been there for as long as he can remember.

And in the corner of the lawn is the very large, faded red dog house. It contains three massive mutts slumbering in a pile.

“Oh, there they are, my good boys…” Zagreus murmurs, clutching his hand to his heart. “There they are.”

His face has melted into a soppy smile. Thanatos can’t tear his eyes away.

Zagreus hops down from the fence, landing gently and quietly - the dance major has some real-world applications, it seems. Thanatos follows, less gracefully but without breaking an ankle, which is all he can ask.

He trails Zagreus as he skirts around the edge of the yard, keeping to the fence. When they reach the dogs, Zagreus pulls a face and mutters, “I wish I’d brought some treats to bribe them with. Be prepared to bail if they start barking.”

Thanatos hangs back as Zagreus carefully approaches the three sleeping dogs, quietly clicking his tongue and letting out little whistles. He finally reaches the pile and kneels beside them. He extends a hand and carefully strokes down the back of the one with the floppy ears that Than remembers responding the best to Zagreus’ attempts to play frisbee with them.

The dog lets out a whine. Thanatos and Zagreus tense. Its eyes slowly blink open.

And then its face splits into a big doggy grin, and it starts slobbering all over Zagreus’ face.

Zagreus is grinning so wide that Thanatos _knows_ he’s definitely getting dog drool in his mouth. Even more disgustingly, Thanatos can’t even care that much, because the joy that’s beaming out of Zagreus right now is transfixing.

“Hello, _hello_ Cerberus, oh I’ve missed you so much, oh you’re so _sweet,_ I’m so happy to see you too, my sweet boy,” Zagreus coos, thoroughly scratching at the dog’s chest. The jangling of the collar feels deafening. “You missed me, huh? Oh, I’m so sorry I had to leave you behind, I wish you were small enough to put in my pockets so I could just carry you around everywhere!”

The other two dogs are roused by the activity and snuffle quietly in Zagreus’ direction. Thanatos keeps a wary distance - one of them is the one that was always asleep, and the other would bite if you tried to pet it, and Thanatos was never able to tell which was which if both were awake.

“Are your snouts even whiter now…? Oh, my poor old boys, what _grandpas_ you are,” Zag is cooing, planting little kisses on the nice one’s head. “I bet my mean old father hasn’t gotten you your AARP cards, right? How are you gonna get your senior discounts on snausages, huh?” He looks up at Thanatos. “Say hello, Than, be polite!”

Thanatos gives a beleaguered sigh, but complies. “Hello, Cerberus, Cerberus, and Cerberus.”

“You can just say ‘Cerberus.’ It’s quicker.”

“Cerberii?”

Zagreus’ face scrunches up in thought. “I suppose. We always just said ‘Cerberus’ or ‘the dogs.’”

“I still can’t believe you named all three dogs ‘Cerberus.’”

“I was eight! I was attached to the name! And it was two less names for my father to remember, and he only got the dogs so I would stop bugging him all the time to let me go over to your family’s house to have somebody to play with.” Zagreus scratches under the friendly one’s chin. It licks at his nose, and Zagreus laughs. “And it’s not like they’re ever not attached at the hip. The bestest boys have to stick together to _maximize their power,_ isn’t that right, bestest boys?”

All three of them _whuff_ at the same time. When he was a child, Thanatos was convinced that Zagreus and the dogs had a psychic connection. He has not entirely let go of that belief. 

“Oh, I’ve missed you all _sho mush,”_ Zagreus babytalks, hugging the nice one around the neck. The lazy one leans in closer against him, and the standoffish one rests the tip of its snout on Zagreus’ knee.

“I heard that they… went on something of a rampage when you first moved out,” Thanatos says carefully.

“Yeah,” Zagreus sighs. “They did. My father made _sure_ to let me know. On the one hand, I’m glad they fucked up his favorite armchair. On the other… I wish it hadn’t come to that.” He touches his forehead against the dog’s. The tipsiness seems to have left him - despite his little attempts at jokes, he speaks with full feeling and conviction. Thanatos listens with the attention that Zagreus deserves. “I feel awful for leaving them. They’d just gotten me back after I was away at that school for so long, and then I disappeared on them again. I’m missing the last years of their lives, probably. I have all my reasons, and they’re important reasons, but dogs don’t know what college is, or antique stores, or arrhythmia, or any of this shit. They just know I’m gone again.” He takes a deep breath. “But at least there’s probably way less yelling around here, so their naps have gotta be the best they’ve ever been!”

He ruffles the fur on the dog’s neck, trying to smile, but Thanatos can hear the strain in his voice.

He should say something. He should say something comforting, and reassuring, and suitable - he should say something that would prove his affection for Zagreus as whole and genuine, felt so deeply from within his heart that he knows exactly what it is he’s supposed to say to help and to - to _fix_ this.

But he knows he can’t, so he just says simple truths.

“I think they’re just happy to see you no matter what,” he says carefully, deliberately, trying to impart that these are not just platitudes. “They miss you because they love you. And it’s good that you’re making time for them.”

It feels small and insufficient, but it’s what Thanatos can summon up to say. He wishes he was better at this. Zagreus deserves better than this.

But Zagreus turns toward him, sad smile melting into something small and soft and difficult for Thanatos to look at too long, and he says, “Yeah. Yeah. Thanks again for driving me, Than.”

Thanatos accepted a long time ago that he was never going to be enough for most people. He doesn’t feel enough, doesn’t emote enough, doesn’t bother to expend enough effort on trying to delicately navigate social situations. That’s not how his brain works. He’s not an easy person to deal with, but luckily (perhaps only in his perspective) he doesn’t have enough interest in other people to care.

Zagreus has always been the only exception. He makes Thanatos want to stumble around in the figurative dark with a figurative blindfold on, trying to figure out what to do to make Zagreus smile. He makes Thanatos want to try. There’s no one else who inspires this devotion in him: this burning need to help where he can, where he is allowed to. He thinks he’d follow him to hell and back. It should be terrifying, but mostly it just feels right.

And the thing about Zagreus that makes all of the terror of how strongly he affects him worth it: Zagreus accepts him as he is. He pushes him to be more emotionally open with him, to help Zag understand him; he drags him out of his daily routines on witching hour adventures; he wants him to take his damn compliments; but he doesn’t ask Thanatos to change who he is as a person, fundamentally. Ever since they were children, all Zagreus has demanded of him was that he come out and play.

It is comforting, because Thanatos feels safe around him, safe and secure like with no one else. It is terrifying, because these feelings have only grown stronger with each year Thanatos has known Zagreus and are only intensifying, and it’s inherently terrifying to give someone so much control over one’s heart. It is exhilarating, because every time they see each other lately, now that Zagreus has escaped his father’s house, it feels like something pulls hot and tense in his heart every time Zag looks at him for a moment longer than a glance.

Thanatos doesn't know what to do with any of it, besides buying Zagreus dinner on his nights off; he doesn't think Zagreus feels the same way, and he's loathe both to show his softest underbelly and to burden Zagreus with having to turn him down - to burden their relationship with that awkwardness. He doesn't want to risk it.

He knows there’s nothing else like this in the world. He'll do anything to be in Zagreus' orbit. That's the effect Zagreus has on everyone who knows him.

But Thanatos can’t say all that, even to Zagreus. That’s too much vulnerability. So he bows his head and says simply, “You needed my help.”

“I did,” Zagreus says softly. He’s looking at him steadily. “Thank you for choosing to help me. I know it’s a precarious situation for you. I know I’ve said this a billion times, but don’t feel pressured into helping me behind my father’s back. Just seeing you is enough.”

“I _want_ to help you.” Thanatos is very proud as well as extremely mortified at the minimal amount of warbling in his voice when he admits that. He rallies, and tries to cover for his slip. “But if you don’t want me to help you, then, well…”

“No, no!” Zagreus interjects, hands waving frantically. "I've really enjoyed how you've spent so much time hanging out with me lately and it's been great to get dinner so often and tonight's been a lot of fun and--"

Thanatos can’t help but chuckle. “I was just joking, Zagreus.”

“It’s kind of hard to tell with you, sometimes,” Zagreus huffs.

“My deepest apologies for having a naturally sarcastic voice,” Thanatos teases. “You need to learn to discern my various tones so you can get all my fantastic jokes.”

Zagreus looks at him, smiling. “Yeah,” he says. “I’m learning.”

The way Zagreus is smiling at him - it makes his lungs constrict with the warmest fear Thanatos has ever felt. He desperately wants to pry his own mouth open, to pour out words that are too daring for him to ever actually say but are bubbling up within him now. And now Zagreus’ smile has changed just the smallest bit, and his hand is leaving the dog’s fur and is reaching toward him, and Thanatos is frozen in place, once again watching in wondrous paralysis as Zagreus moves to touch him, terrified in the best of ways --

Suddenly, there’s a scratching noise, and the backyard is flooded with blindingly bright fluorescent light. Their heads swivel.

A rat the size of a Yorkie has wandered onto the patio.

One of the upstairs windows lights up.

“Oh _shit,_ that’s my father’s room. We’ve gotta go, we’ve gotta _go!”_ Zagreus hisses, bolting upright. The dogs whine at their petting session being disturbed. Then they _really_ start to bark when they see the rat. “No no, shhhhhshsh boys, I’ll come back and visit you later, I promise, but you have to let me be sneaky! I don’t have any treats for you but you have to be _quiet!”_

“We don’t have time for this. Stop talking to the dogs and _run.”_

“Than, you have to climb over the fence first, you have more at risk if my father catches you, here step on my hands--”

_“We can both climb the fence at the same time just start climbing the fence Zagreus I swear to God.”_

They’re sprinting halfway down the block when they hear that familiar and feared baritone roar into the quiet of the night, followed quickly by the dogs’ barkings intensifying. Zagreus lets out a whoop, and when Thanatos glances over, there’s a bright vicious grin on his face, and Thanatos can’t help the one that blooms on his.

They hurtle into Thanatos’ car as Mr. Hades’ porch light flickers on and the front door slams open, Zagreus’ father a very large and imposing silhouette, visible even from where they are. They’re peeling away, the squealing tires probably waking up the entire block and definitely covering up whatever Mr. Hades is shouting at them, and Zagreus is laughing and laughing and Thanatos is laughing too, bright and vicious and alive with it all.

“I wish I could have seen his _face,”_ Zagreus cackles. He rolls down the window and sticks his head out like a dog, and Thanatos laughs at that too, because Zagreus is ridiculous and this whole evening has been ridiculous and he hasn’t felt so full of life in years. The wind is in his sails and he’s just pissed off his boss and he’s in a car with a beautiful boy who just took him to pet three elderly dogs.

The energy can’t stay that high forever, and gradually mellows from wild cackling to easy chuckles. Thanatos decides to take them to his family’s home. Zagreus usually doesn’t stay at Nyx’s house in his couchsurfing, not wanting to cause any trouble for them as they all work with or for his father, but tonight they need a place to crash, and Thanatos doesn’t want to drop Zagreus off and not see him again for however long.

He tells Zagreus where they’re going, and Zagreus nods, says, “Just for tonight, I don’t want to impose on your mom.”

“She likes having you over,” Thanatos says. “And she can hold her own against your father.”

“I know she can, she’s a very intimidating person,” Zagreus replies. “I just don’t want to trouble her more than I already do.”

“She likes helping you,” Thanatos insists.

“Your whole family is so nice, Than,” Zagreus says, smiling at him. Then he considers. “Well, except for Charon. He’s cool, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t know if I would call him _nice.”_

“Hypnos is very aggrieved that Charon does not give us a family discount at his food truck.”

“Even you guys? Ugh! You know, I think the only person I think he’s ever given a discount to is my cousin.”

“You have a million cousins. Specify.”

“The Postmates driver who runs marathons on the weekends.”

“Marathons.” This sparks something in Thanatos’ brain, and then a realization breaks over his brain like the sun over the eastern horizon, except much less majestic and much more soap-operatic. “Oh my god. I know that one. Charon brought him home for the holiday dinner last year.”

 _“What?”_ Zagreus laughs in amazed delight. “I can’t believe I never heard about this! My father must have been _pissed!”_

“Everything about that evening is making so much more sense,” Thanatos says, turning the events over in his mind. “I was back in the dining room with him and Charon - he was talking about his marathon training, I remember that - when your father arrived. As soon as my Mother said his name, Hermes ran to the bathroom and then never came back. I’m fairly certain he climbed out the window.”

“That’s _incredible._ I’m definitely going to see if maybe _I_ can get a family discount now. In-laws and all.”

“Don’t bet on it,” Thanatos says, pulling into the driveway of his family’s house. “Okay. Make sure not to be too loud, it’s a quarter to two.”

“Of course,” Zagreus says gallantly, getting out of the car and grabbing his bags. “It wouldn’t do to wake up your honored mother.”

“I’ll make up the couch for you,” Thanatos murmurs as he unlocks the front door. “Just let me get some blankets.”

As soon as they step in the door, a nest of white curls flings up and squeaks, _“My twenty bucks!”_

Fuck. “Or maybe not,” Thanatos mutters. He can hear Zagreus’ quiet snort.

“Thanks for asking, Hypnos, I’m doing just fine,” Zagreus replies in what Thanatos considers an impressively restrained tone. “Hey, you must have been sleeping, we’ll just let you get back to it--”

“I figured I’d be seeing you soon, Zag.” Hypnos says that much too knowingly. Thanatos cannot believe he’s being embarrassed by a Muppet with Dorito dust smeared across his face. “So, as I said: my twenty bucks, please!”

“I wish I could give you that money, Hypnos, I really do, but I actually have something _better.”_ And with a charlatan’s flourish, Zagreus pulls the damned margarita mix out from his backpack. “Ta-da! Exotic agave-lime juice! I’ll let you in on a bit of a secret: I’m pretty sure my cousin paid like forty-five bucks for this for the party he was having tonight, but I saw it and thought you’d like it, so I grabbed it just for you,” Zagreus lies through his teeth.

“Wow, _really?”_ Hypnos squeaks wholeheartedly. This is why everyone thinks Thanatos is the older brother. “Thanks, Zag, this is dope!”

And then he opens the bottle and starts chugging the margarita mix.

Thanatos and Zagreus can do nothing but stand there and watch him guzzle it down in horror. The only sound in the room is Hypnos swallowing mouthful after mouthful of sickly sweet, neon yellow, concentrated flavor liquid.

It’s kind of impressive in the worst way possible.

Hypnos finishes the entire liter, then wipes his mouth with a percussive _ahhh._ “That was delicious! Thanks again! Now you owe me fifteen bucks!”

With that, he falls back down onto the couch, and immediately starts snoring.

Thanatos and Zagreus stand there for another moment. Just processing.

“Well, I suppose the couch is spoken for,” Zagreus finally says.

“I doubt you want to take Hypnos’ bed --”

“Absolutely not.”

“-- So if it’s alright with you, you can sleep in my room,” Thanatos says, extremely normally.

“That sounds perfectly fine,” Zagreus says, also extremely normally. They troop upstairs, making sure their feet fall gently for the sake of his Mother.

Thanatos is deeply glad that he naturally doesn’t make much of a mess, so his room is very clean for his unexpected visitor. He knows Zagreus wouldn’t have cared if it wasn't especially tidy (he has never seen Zagreus’ room without at least one discarded shirt strewn on the floor), but not having to worry about that is something he can tell himself he isn’t nervous about.

One thing he is worrying about, now that he is looking at his room with Zagreus at his shoulder, is that he has a twin-sized bed (he’s not home often enough to feel the need to splurge on a new mattress), and Zagreus’ shoulders are very broad, and Zagreus has always been something of an octopus when he sleeps.

Zagreus coughs into his fist. “I… I don’t know if that will fit both of us.”

Thanatos nods sharply. “You’re probably right.”

“It would probably be a pretty tight squeeze.”

 _Please, please don’t talk about tight squeezes right now._ “Mhm.”

Zagreus says, nonsensically, “Oh, your hair is dry now!” And then he touches his hair again.

Thanatos instinctively ducks out of the way. “I’ll sleep on the floor,” he states, because his brain needs to have a decision made right now or it will melt. “I’m going to go grab the mattress pad from the linen closet. Feel free to change into your pajamas. I’ll. I’ll make sure to knock when I come back, so. Yes.” And then he darts out of his room, closing the door behind him, and strides purposefully down the hall to the linen closet, because that is something he can do right now that makes rational and logical sense and does not involve trying to interpret words and actions.

He’s got the mattress pad under one arm and is trying to find the pillowcase that goes with the sheets he grabbed when the door next to the linen closet creaks open and his Mother’s pale features appear in the gloom.

Thanatos doesn’t jump. He is very used to the rhythms of the house. “Hello, Mother. I hope we did not disturb you.”

“Do not worry, child; I was already awake,” she pronounces. She’s wearing a silken nightgown and has some type of face mask on. She looks as regal as ever. “It seems you have brought a visitor to the house.”

“Ah, yes,” he says. “It’s only Zagreus.”

“Only Zagreus,” she repeats, lifting a hand to her cheek. Certain muscles in her face relax in a way that is easily identifiable to Thanatos as a smile. “I am glad. It has been some time since I have seen him, and it is good that you are able to be in close contact with him. I know that you have missed him dearly.”

Thanatos can feel his cheeks flush. His Mother’s mouth has now quirked up on one side. “Yes. Well. I… suppose I have.”

“Tell him he is invited to stay for breakfast, if he wishes,” his Mother says, and then nods, clearly dismissive. “Have gentle dreams.”

He nods back and starts down the hall, then stops in his tracks when she says, “One last thing, child. It is of great import.”

He is suddenly hit with a terrifying vision of his Mother saying something with her regular gravitas about condoms or safe sex or waiting until marriage. 

“In the morning, please venture to the Sprout’s Grocery Market and purchase another pint of almond milk.”

Oh good, he still isn’t psychic. “Yes, Mother.”

With that, her door closes with a soft click.

When he knocks on the door to his room, Zagreus says, “I’m decent,” so Thanatos opens the door and. And Zagreus is - Zagreus does not - he. Hm.

Zagreus does not have a shirt on, and his dance classes are doing very well for him.

He’s fairly certain he only stands in the doorway staring like an idiot for two (very long) seconds. “You’re not decent,” he eventually manages to force out.

“I’m wearing pants,” Zagreus says, like he isn’t shirtless.

“But you.” He jerks his head up and down to gesture at Zagreus’ current state. “You’re not wearing a shirt.”

“Yeah, haha, well,” Zagreus says, a bit awkwardly, “Turns out somebody spilled some kind of cocktail on my pajama shirt before I left my cousin’s tonight? And I don’t want to use up one of my clean shirts for pajamas. And it’s not like I don’t sleep shirtless sometimes! But I can throw something on, if you’d rather I be fully clothed…?”

“Er.” _I’d rather the opposite,_ squeaks the stupid horny part of his brain that he’s been repressing for around half a decade, and he pummels it down once more. “Do as you want,” he mutters, kneeling down on the floor to start setting up the mattress pad and linens.

Zagreus stops half-heartedly rummaging around in his duffel for a shirt and bustles over to Thanatos. “Here, let me help with that, you should go get your pajamas on.”

“I’m the one sleeping here. Go brush your teeth.” _Please, please go brush your teeth and give me a moment to think clearly._

“I am not kicking you out of your own bed,” Zagreus says, righteously indignant. “I’ll sleep here.”

“You’ve been sleeping on couches for the past three months. I can deal with sleeping on the floor for one night.”

“No I haven’t! Half of my relatives have guest bedrooms. And before you get all reluctantly self-sacrificial, this looks _much_ more comfortable than Artemis’ camping cot.”

He narrows his eyes. “Zagreus.”

Zagreus just smiles teasingly back. “Thanatos.”

“There’s no hope of changing your mind, is there,” he says, tossing Zagreus the topsheet. “Sleep on the floor, if that’s your heart’s deepest desire.”

“It’s up there,” Zagreus says, and the way he’s looking up at Thanatos is giving him hopes he knows he shouldn’t entertain for his own sanity. It is nearly two in the morning and everything tonight is too much to handle.

He turns away from Zagreus and gathers his sleepwear. “Go brush your teeth so I can change. You know where the bathroom is.”

“Oh! Right. Yes, I’ll do that,” Zagreus coughs, and Thanatos busies himself with unfolding, refolding, and then re-unfolding his sleep shirt until Zagreus has left the room.

Then he allows himself to press his hands to his face and let out a quiet _gahhhhhhh._

Thankfully, he has his pajama pants _and_ shirt on by the time Zagreus and his pecs get back. He darts out to go brush his own teeth before Zagreus can say anything.

He spends the entire time staring at his own reflection, wondering if his eyebags are always this pronounced or if it’s just the late hour, and if he pulls off the eyebags. Not that being physically attractive really matters in his life - looking handsome doesn’t matter when he’s buying antiques, and he’s not really looking to date anybody who would care too much about his looks - but upon prolonged viewing, his mouth seems grotesquely wide, his brow too heavy, his forehead huge; the longer he looks, the more his facial features distort and look unnatural and become loathable.

He spits. He washes his face. He looks back at himself again.

That’s definitely his face.

He gives himself a thumbs up.

It feels very stupid.

When he slips back into the room, Zagreus is lying on the mattress pad, looking at something on his phone, one of his feet bouncing up and down. He has a shirt on. When the door clicks shut his head jerks to attention, and he gives Thanatos a little smile.

Not sure what he’s supposed to do, Thanatos flashes a quick smile back, although he’s pretty sure it just looks like he’s stretched out the sides of his mouth. He quickly gets into bed and turns off the lamp. He sets his alarm. He puts his phone on his nightstand. The _clack_ of it being set down feels so loud.

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see the glow from Zagreus’ phone flick off. There’s some rustling. And then it’s silent and dark, and Zagreus is two feet away from him. He can hear him breathing softly.

This is barely different from what it would have been like if they had shared the bed. Except Thanatos would have felt his warmth.

He feels like a terrible person for thinking that. He knows he shouldn’t. But he does anyway.

Then, into the silence, Zagreus says, “Sorry if I ever make you uncomfortable.”

“You don’t - you don’t make me uncomfortable, Zagreus.”

“Than, you saw me shirtless and looked like you were about to have a panic attack.” An exhale. A rustle. “I know I can - come on a bit too strong, sometimes. We both have different boundaries. Feel free to remind me of yours anytime you need to. I won’t ever be mad.” He sounds so earnest. He always sounds so earnest.

One has to try very hard to be angry with Zagreus. It has to be an intentional choice. Thanatos has spent most of his life watching Zagreus’ father make that choice. This has made Zagreus have a spine of steel and a careful touch; Thanatos tends to receive the latter.

“Zagreus…” Thanatos sighs, dragging a hand down his face, unsure of how to voice his reply and how many more of his feelings he wants to sacrifice on the altar of Zagreus tonight. “Don’t worry about that. I was just surprised. And as for all the rest…” He wrestles with forcing the words up and out of his throat. Being in the dark helps. “You are… the only person I want to be with. In general. Everyone else is fine, but you… I actively choose to be around you. You know I’m… picky. But I have known you for as long as I can remember. I’m used to you. I like being used to you. That’s what matters to me.”

“Oh,” Zagreus says in a small voice, and Thanatos is overcome with the sheer terror of having revealed too much.

“I’m going to sleep,” he mutters, turning away from Zagreus as loudly as he can. “I have to wake up in three and a half hours. Good night.”

There is a heavy silence that seems to sting and roar in his ears. It lasts, and lasts, and finally the tension in the air seems to burn itself out. The muscles in his body slowly relax.

Then: “Sweet dreams, Than.” Another rustle. “You matter to me too. A lot.”

There’s another long silence. He doesn’t say anything. His breathing burns in his chest. He’s trying to turn over everything Zagreus has said just now - has said all tonight - in his head, but the memories and the words and the way he spoke are all too big to hold onto, and they slip out of his grasp.

He is learning how to deal with loving Zagreus intensely and presently. It’s hard, it’s strange, it’s overwhelming, but he’s dealing with it. He can get through his days, can get through the dinners he buys for him, can get through nights like this where Zag is bright and up close and treating him like something fragile that he desperately doesn’t want to break. 

He knows his tendency to run from emotional situations doesn’t help with that perception. He just wishes he knew what Zagreus was thinking, what he could ever want from Thanatos, who feels so hollow and cold compared to Zagreus’ bright warmth? Is he getting his hopes up for nothing, seeing things that aren’t there - or is he keeping Zagreus at arm’s length when Zagreus would be willing to come closer?

He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do. But trying - but hoping - it makes him feel more alive than he has in years.

Almost as alive as Zagreus makes him feel.

“I’m gay,” he blurts out impulsively. He immediately wants to die. He wants his comforter to come alive and smother him. “Also, my Mother says you’re welcome to stay for breakfast tomorrow morning, I have to leave for work at six but you can sleep as long as you want, she said she wanted to see you, she usually makes omelets,” he rushes out, trying desperately to cover up his absolute stupidity, his humiliating obviousness, why did he _say_ that, he’s already said too much this evening and there’s no way Zagreus doesn’t _know_ -

“Oh! Er, thank you for telling me, Than,” Zagreus says. “Although I sort of… figured.”

Oh god. “What do you mean.” Oh god.

”Nothing bad! I mean - you were just, uh, _really_ fixated on that My Chemical Romance guy when we were middle school. Still, good to know for certain! Really good! Or - ignore all that. Thank you for trusting me with that, Than, is what I meant to say.”

The only emotion Thanatos can feel is _too much._ Thank god it’s dark because he’s sure his face is bright red. “I’m - I’m going to sleep. For real, this time. Good night, Zagreus.”

He hears Zagreus laugh quietly. “Okay. Good night for real too. I’m happy to stay for breakfast. And - thank you again for driving me to see my dogs.”

Despite the overwhelming terror, elation, and vulnerability, he means it in his bones when he says, “Anytime.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! i had a ton of fun writing this. thanks to everyone who read snippets of this and encouraged me - could not have finished without all the support and cheerleading. thanks to everyone who inspired jokes and various tweaks to make words funnier. special thanks to sweet maeve for betaing!
> 
> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/plounce) and [tumblr](https://plounce.tumblr.com) as @plounce!


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